i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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