where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
