In America we eat man semen.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things