the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015