Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.