Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
