I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.