she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle