I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.