My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?