do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Farmville is her only friend.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize