I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
