This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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