nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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