I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
