she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
