Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have fence marks all over my body
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
