We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
