We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
