I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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