So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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