My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Screwed.edu
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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