i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
