I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
