What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
