Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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