dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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