my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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