She said her name was "party"
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
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