I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
