I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
