considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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