So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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