Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
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Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
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Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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