Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
