no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
