like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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