im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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