New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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