They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
