Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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