The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
