I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
