I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
