THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
