Apparently you make a good broom.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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