if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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