If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
