i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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