If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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