I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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