his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
