Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
