did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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