so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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