Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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