Non-Jews are for practice
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize