I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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