Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
