If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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