Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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