let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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