Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize