after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
