You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
