So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
