my mouth tastes like poor choices
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
